Should I Talk About My Mystical Experience
Written by Kirsti Formoso, MSc. Transpersonal Psychology, BSc. Psychology
A mystical experience is one of the most powerful, transformative, and meaningful spiritual experiences you can have. Talking about it changes it. And deciding whether to talk about it is a personal decision.
While you may have experienced direct knowledge, wisdom, and insight, knowing whether to share your oneness spiritual experience is not always obvious. It's difficult to see into the future and know for sure whether talking about it will serve you or not. Perhaps not knowing is one of the things that can keep us humble as we tumble back into our egoic selves.
Hopefully, this blog will help you in deciding if it’s right for you to share your mystical experience.
TO TALK OR NOT TO TALK
I can't tell you whether it's a good idea to talk to others about your mystical moment. But I will share some thoughts on the back of my own experience. I've had two mystical experiences, and one of them I find perfectly fine to talk about.
The other, until recently, I've been totally in the closet about, and it happened nearly seven years ago. If I wasn't a transpersonal psychologist, I probably still would not talk about it. But it's part of my job, as a transpersonal psychologist, so I came out of the closet.
The two experiences were very different. One occurred during a guided meditation and lasted seconds, and while it changed my fundamental understanding of reality, it didn't change me very much. The other was an intense experience that lasted over a year. As you can imagine, I'm not the same person as before. It changed me on a fundamental level.
YOU'VE HAD A SPIRITUAL EXPERIENCE
Count yourself very lucky and feel into that gratitude. It's a wonderful thing to experience pure consciousness, divine love, effortless joy and ultimate reality. Having a mystical experience is a true gift. You may have felt this expansive state during contemplative practices, out in nature, during psychological trauma or while being on psychedelics. No matter the trigger, you’ll likely carry that deep sense of peace with your for the rest of your life.
Believe it or not, they're pretty common. You're not alone. Like all EHEs, we just don't talk about them. I think they will become more common as more people engage with spiritual practices and find themselves on a spiritual journey. These experiences are potent pointers on the road to spiritual growth and spiritual understanding. So what we do with them is important.
DOES TALKING ABOUT YOUR MYSTICAL EXPERIENCE MATTER
Talking about this type of spiritual experience can absolutely matter. It's a big decision and an important one. Not one that I would take lightly. Because whether you talk about it or not, it will affect what happens after. It will affect how you integrate it, what you learn from it and how you move forward from it or with it.
You may have many spiritual experiences over your life, but you may never have a mystical experience again, which makes what you do with it matter even more. This is a unique opportunity; don't take the decision lightly.
With that, here's my thoughts.
THE PROBLEM WITH NOT TALKING ABOUT YOUR MYSTICAL EXPERIENCE
While some mystical experiences last longer, most are brief and fleeting, lasting only a few moments. And while such experiences are profound, they can easily be overlooked, written off as a strange anomaly or even denied. Talking about them can be a powerful way to make it feel more tangible, meaningful, and real.
When we articulate and give words to an experience, it can make it more concrete. In a way, we are translating an internal sense, feeling, or experience into something external. We bring it into the world, we give life to it, and we make it part of our identity.
When we share it and others acknowledge it, it solidifies the experience as something real and significant. It becomes part of a shared social reality. It doesn't, over time, become something we thought we imagined.
By sharing our experience, we help normalise the transcendent in our societies. We make room for the transcendent in our culture. We contribute to the ever-evolving cultural understanding of spirit, the non-material world, consciousness and the divine.
But the problems associated with talking about your mystical experience could be far bigger than the problem of not talking about it.
THE PROBLEM WITH TALKING ABOUT YOUR MYSTICAL EXPERIENCE
Having had a fleeting mystical experience and one that lasted a lot longer, I want to talk about why it might be better not to talk about it. And there are a few reasons. And probably a few more I haven't thought of.
MYSTICAL EXPERIENCES ARE INEFFABLE
Mystical experiences are ineffable. That is one of the characteristics that distinguish a mystical experience from any other altered state of consciousness or spiritual or religious experience. Ineffable means that you can't put the experience into words. You can not explain it and do it justice. If you put it into words, someone who'd never had one would have no clue what you are talking about.
Therefore, any attempt to put it into words may feel like you are limiting this profound experience or taking away from it. When we try to capture the ineffable in words, we limit the experience to what words can convey, and over time, this profound experience that can not be put into words becomes a series of words, phrases and concepts like mystical consciousness, divine love, unitive experience, and ultimate reality.
But the essence of the experience is lost. You are disconnected from the true spiritual nature of the experience, which has receded into oblivion as a faint memory of something extraordinary that happened once upon a time. No longer are you able to feel that experience because it is now more a cognitive memory of concepts than a subjective embodied experience.
OTHER PEOPLE’S REACTIONS
I've had mixed results sharing my experiences.
My first experience, which was fleeting, was during a guided meditation. We were a very small group of Vipassana and Mindfulness students with several years of practice behind us. After the guided meditation, we were invited to share our experiences, as often happens in Mindfulness courses. I shared my experience, and it was a truly beautiful moment for our small group. The profound insight I received was about a deeper reality that the world is a benevolent place, and it is us that make it not so.
It was as if the insight had been meant for us all. If the word God is not too offensive for you, it was as if God's presence was in the room. As if the clarity and pure consciousness had touched all of us. It truly was a beautiful moment of connection, healing, and love.
However, when I had my extended mystical experience, it was a different story altogether. My closest friend got all excited and thought I should go out into the world and become a spiritual teacher or guru. Luckily, in my gut, I knew that would be a recipe for disaster.
In total contrast, one or two people I told within my spiritual community turned on me. Looking back, I think there was just a misunderstanding. I was unable to properly articulate my experience. I think they got the impression that I thought I was enlightened and special.
But that’s not what I felt or tried to convey. At the time, I was in it, so I was spending a lot of time in the non-dual state. It was easy to flip into it. But I was all too aware that my egoic tendencies were still very much intact. I could watch myself flip between ego and non-dual consciousness. I just wasn’t able to communicate properly what I was experiencing, which ended in misunderstandings.
I told very few people after that. I was in the closet.
FOOD FOR THE EGO
The ego will gobble up your experience before you can say boo to a ghost. It will devour your mystical experience and take it for itself. This type of spiritual experience are like sweets to the ego. And if anything will take away from your experience, it is your own ego.
People will go one way or another. Either, like my fellow students, they'll be jealous or, like my friend, they'll try to turn you into their guru. While hostility is never nice to deal with, the problem lies in the latter. Because you might believe them! My point is that there's room for full-blown ego inflation here. Now, it has to be said that the danger here is far greater for those of you having an extended mystical experience. For many a time, this extended type of altered state of consciousness has been mistaken for full-blown enlightenment.
With other people acknowledging your experience and perhaps even turning to you for support, wisdom and guidance, it can be difficult to stay humble. All too often, people are looking for a guru or saviour, and if desperate, they'll take anyone. Someone who is having an extended mystical experience is the perfect candidate.
And the ego will take it. It will revel in any admiration, attention, kudos, worship and following it can get and use it for its own objective: to be more important, more powerful and more special than anyone else.
And if you're having an extended mystical experience, trust me, that ego will lure you back into its way of being so fast you don't know what happened. I've seen this beast in action, and it's soooo good at directing attention away from non-dual, no-shape, mystical consciousness and back into egoic consciousness that you won't even notice it happened. You'll just realise one day you're back in the drama of being an ego.
TO TELL OR NOT TO TELL
So, what should you do? I've given you the pros and cons of telling people about your mystical experience from my own experience. You will have to work out the best approach for yourself. But, if I had to sum up what I think, it's this;
If you had a fleeting mystical experience, it may potentially be of service to share it with some carefully chosen people. It may touch their lives in a powerful way, it may help you to understand the experience better, and there could be some benefit to you both. But equally, it may not serve any good purpose. Perhaps the intent behind the sharing is the most important consideration.
If you're having or have had an extended mystical experience, I recommend that you sit on it. Marinate in it. Until you have deeply integrated it into your own being. Of course, it may make sense to you to share it, again, with carefully selected people. Having an extended mystical experience can be a bumpy ride, and having someone to talk to can be helpful. These profound experiences can have dramatic and instantaneous transformational effects on your sense of identity, understanding of the world, and your perception. Having support through that is important.
TELLING YOUR SPIRITUAL COMMUNITY
It’s probably best not to assume that spiritual groups and places would be the best place to share it. While spiritual communities can offer guidance and support, sharing a mystical experience is not always appreciated. The problem with some spiritual communities is that there can be a lack of psychological work. This means that while they are great at meditating or yoga, they may not be aware of their own subconscious biases, shadows, beliefs, traumas, and projections. All of which can feed into how they respond to you sharing your mystical experience.
DARK NIGHT OF THE SOUL
Discovering the true nature of reality and your true self can be challenging and life-changing. Some people have a spiritual crisis after they experience this altered state of consciousness. You may find yourself wondering what’s the point of it all, you may lose your faith, have a crisis of meaning, lose purpose or feel isolated. This can be super challenging and talking to someone that understands this process can be really helpful.
WHAT SHOULD YOU DO AFTER A MYSTICAL EXPERIENCE
Taking time to reflect on your experience is a really powerful way to deepen your spirituality and help you feel into that mystical state again. Research into psychedelic mystical experiences suggests that integration work greatly enhances the healing benefits and transformational effects of mystical experiences.
A study by the team at Johns Hopkins investigated the effects of spiritual practices following a non-dual mystical type experience. In the study, participants who engaged in spiritual practices increased their scores on:
Interpersonal closeness
Gratitude
Life meaning, and purpose
Forgiveness
Death transcendence
Daily spiritual experiences
Religious faith and coping
What we really want to do is integrate our understanding of this mystical state into our everyday life. Practices like meditation, mindfulness, prayer, reading spiritual books and scripture, journaling and being in nature give space to our non-dual oneness experiences, helping us marinate in it and deepen our connection with the transcendent.
So, whatever will help you do that, go for it. And on the subject of whether to share your experience, try journaling and contemplating on this, and you might find the answer you’re looking for.
WHAT YOU SHOULD NOT DO AFTER A MYSTICAL EXPERIENCE
Right it off as nothing. This is a profound gift that offers you a window into divine love and ultimate truth. Tap into what you have been given. It is always there. Ready and available to you.
But don't chase it. Don't spend the rest of your life trying to get back to that experience. It won't happen. You can not go back to that experience. It has gone. It no longer exists. That is not to say that you will never have a mystical experience again, but it will be different.
MARINATE AND INTEGRATE, THEN TALK
My extended mystical experience happened at a retreat. The spiritual teacher there tended to advise people not to talk about the experience but to honour it and marinate in it. I did that. For many years. This gave me the chance to ‘marinate’ and fully process and integrate what had happened.
I became a different person. I looked the same on the outside, but my brain was rewired. How I saw myself and the world was different. How I interacted with the world was different. In fact, everything was different: my views, my perception, my beliefs, my temperament, my values, my relationships, all of it.
I finally came out of the closet about my extended mystical experience seven or eight years after the fact. And for me, it wasn’t a day early. During that time, I not only integrated my own experience, but I also had the chance to study mystical experiences from a scientific perspective. I conducted three research projects and read numerous books.
My understanding of non-duality, the transcendent, and the ego’s role deepened. I stabilised in my new self, complete with my perfectly imperfect ego. Now, I’m enjoying the ride of my life in this physical body. I feel stable in my understanding without holding it too rigidly. I feel secure in who I am. I feel connected to something deeper within.
I have no concern that talking about it can take anything from it.
For a long time, I felt a deep need not to go to my grave with this insight without sharing it. But I wasn’t ready to share. Now I am.
YOUR INTENTION BEHIND YOUR DESIRE TO TALK
I think a more helpful question than whether you should or shouldn't talk about your mystical experience or not is, What is my intention behind my desire to talk about my experience?
If this resonates with you, I invite you to contemplate and journal on that intention behind the desire. You can ask questions like;
Why do I want to share?
What is my intention—connection, validation, inspiration, teaching, healing, processing, or something else?
What about my non-dual awakening experience do I want to share?
Am I sharing from a place of ego (e.g. to impress or prove), or from love and service?
What do I hope to achieve by talking about my experience?
How might I benefit from sharing my experience?
How might others benefit from me sharing my mystical experience?
What will my ego get out of sharing this awakening experience with others?
Am I emotionally and spiritually grounded enough in this experience to articulate it clearly and calmly?
Have I integrated the experience sufficiently to speak from insight, not confusion or overwhelm?
Do I have the words or metaphors that honour the depth of what happened without reducing it?
Do I still seek external validation, or am I at peace whether it’s understood or not?
Am I prepared for questions or challenges, and can I respond without becoming defensive or destabilised?
How can I stay humble if I receive ego-massaging attention from others?
Who am I sharing this with, and are they open, receptive, or likely to misunderstand or judge?
Does this person or group have a framework to hold this kind of experience (e.g. spiritual, psychological, scientific)?
Would this sharing potentially help them or burden them?
May you integrate your insights deeply, may you feel into the essence of reality and who you are every day, and may you live with joy.
Feel free to reach out, comment or join my mailing list if you would like more information and support on this subject.
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